A few months ago I saw a childhood friend post something simple online that struck me. Essentially she said “if you’re ever stumped on how to bless me or what to get me for a gift, I love sugar snap peas!” I thought to myself, that is such a manageable gift! It’s inexpensive and something that will bless her every time.

I gathered with a few close friends on Friday night for a dinner party and after much meaningful conversation I posed the same question: “What’s a simple thing that blesses you?”

(Yes, I realize it’s bad timing to learn how to love my friends 4 days before I move to another country – I wish I had run this exercise years ago).

“It blesses me when my friends pursue and acknowledge my kids.”

“I love notes, I keep every one.”

“I like it when people invite me over to their home for dinner.”

“I like getting a personal invite to an event, even if I was part of the mass text.”

“Chocolate chip cookies!”

These are people I’ve been friends with for years – and I didn’t know many of their responses! All simple and manageable ways to love them, I just never thought to ask.

It’s an awkward thing – telling people how to bless you. In some ways we feel like it’s prideful to say we need to be loved. We often define humility as never acknowledging we have needs.

Yet I think it’s one of the most humble things we can do to say “I need you.”

My roommate left on a trip this weekend and won’t be back until a week after I’m in Asia. She had a busy week last week and so did I – much of our interactions were passing each other in the kitchen while the other was brushing their teeth, either out the door or off to bed. She got home from work Friday afternoon and went upstairs to change for her afternoon run. I knew this was my last chance to see her and it took all my courage to run upstairs and say “Can you hang out with me?”

She smiled and put down her running shoes. “Yes, Rachel. I’d love to hang out with you.” And here’s the thing: it didn’t just bless me, it blessed her too. It blessed her to be a good friend and that I told her how.

Here’s what I think you should do: throw a dinner party. Ask your friends what blesses them. Make it your icebreaker at small group. Talk about it during your morning workout group. Ask your family the next time you’re together. Educate yourself in the art of blessing :).

Yesterday I stopped to pick one of these friends up for an afternoon walk. I was waiting in the driveway for her to come out, and I saw her little boy in the window working on a puzzle. And I thought – I could wait here for a few minutes, or I could bless her by asking her son about his puzzle. Cost me nothing, and brought a smile to my dear friend’s face.

My former great blessing doesn’t quite translate to Taiwan (unless the Twins want to schedule a few games in Taipei…), but I do love books! Amazon has a cool feature where you can send someone a book on their Kindle. And thanks to Travis’ mom – I now have one!