I had unpacked all of my boxes and made my new bed, the fresh paint promising newness of place and season. I ran downstairs with my laptop under my arm to double check my senior course schedule online – the wifi password in our house was something ironic, like JesusSaves123. Yet no matter how many times I entered it into my computer, it wouldn’t connect. My roommates had no problem, and my computer didn’t have that problem anywhere else – but for some reason even my IT whiz friend couldn’t figure out why it wouldn’t connect.

I didn’t have the money for a new computer so I figured out how to live without internet at my house (keep in mind this was before smartphones were commonplace, and Lord knows I couldn’t afford one of those either).

I prayed about it and felt God say (in the hard-to-explain way God says things): “You don’t need it to accomplish what I’ve called you to in this season.”

And he was right, I didn’t. It was a year of abundant growth and fruit – and none of it happened because of my the tech in my backpack.

Season in and season out I keep hearing God say this – “You don’t need it to accomplish what I’ve called you to in this season.”

My best mom friend in Taiwan is named Charis – and she is one of the most present people you’ll ever meet. When you’re with her you never feel like she’s in a hurry to be somewhere else (she also might be late somewhere). She is terrible at returning calls and texts – but she’s awesome at not being on her phone when you’re hanging out. If I could put Charis on one end of the phone spectrum – you’d probably find me at the other. I love checking facebook for those little red notifications. I want to know every. single. run. scored in a twins game, when it’s scored – and my phone does that for me. Spotify is pretty much constantly streaming from my phone and I tally all of my exercises in a neat little app. I could go on and on about all of the things this little device does to make my brain drop dopamine.

I get judgy when people give up social media – probably because it feels like a personal accusation. Maybe reading this feels like that for you. But for me, giving this up has nothing to do with you – and everything to do with me, and the kind of person I so badly want to be. I’ve spent years waging war with my phone – only to reinstall that app in a weak moment or violate the time boundaries I’ve set on it. And this time, I’m just going to forfeit the game. Smartphones and apps are designed by thousands of people more brilliant than me, with file cabinets of information on how to keep me coming back.

Do you get a screen report on Sundays? Nothing worse than a notification that says “Your screentime was down an average of 6% last week, to 3 hours and 40 minutes a day.”

I’m not a congresswoman, but to my iPhone I’m declaring defeat and “reclaiming my time.” I give so much time to that handheld dope dispenser, and what do I get in return?

Political rage.

A covetous heart.

Judgment towards people I hardly know.

Mental fatigue.

A misalignment of compassionate thoughts.

I’m not here to rail on social media as the end of all things good – I don’t believe that. But when I take an honest look at what I give to it in exchange for what I get, it simply doesn’t make sense for me. People use it for ministry and business and information – and some people are so good to leave it at that. I’m just not one of those people.

So I’m going to step out of those spaces for awhile. I sold my iPhone for $100 and got a flip phone instead (hey-o T9!). I’m gonna step out of social media spaces for the foreseeable future – to clear the mucky water out of my brain and pursue what Paul tells the Philippians to fill their minds with:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

I have no idea what this journey will look like – and it could be SO. BORING. to write about – apologies in advance. But I’m going to give this space to God and do my best to share what I’m learning and if I find some green grass on the other side of this digital fence. Would love for you to journey with me and let me know what God is doing in your life in this season.

Feel free to comment on my posts or shoot me an old-fashioned email at rachelkleppen@gmail.com.