I know it’s a bit cliche to have a “we were so broke when we first got married…” story, but Travis and mine took place on the curb outside the laundromat just up the street from our apartment. It had something to do with how many coins were needed in the dryer – was it 3 or 4? To me 3 was risky – it might mean someone emptying our clothes into a basket while they were still damp, so I used 4 just in case. What started as a debate between Travis and I turned into an argument that last most of the morning – we were that broke.

Between paying two full-time tuitions for Mandarin classes and rent, our salary had little leftover for food and laundry. We were relying on our savings account and wedding gifts to get us through the year.

Not long after our argument over coins we found out we were very unexpectedly pregnant with our first child. Due to visa issues I wasn’t eligible for Taiwan health insurance for exactly 10 more months (of course). We were so unexpectedly pregnant I was already almost through my first trimester before I found out, so there was 100% chance we’d be delivering this baby in a foreign country with no insurance.

We did some calculations and figured the pregnancy and birth would cost about $2,000 U.S. dollars, so we set aside a chunk of our savings in anticipation of a normal, timely birth. I had two prayers I prayed throughout my pregnancy: that I could deliver the baby naturally, and that I would be able to breastfeed him. C-sections were expensive and so was formula so I assumed God would shield us from both (He knew how broke we were!).

Fast-forward 5 months and my son’s birth was the total opposite of natural and timely. In reality, it was a near-death experience for both of us highlighted by an emergency C-section under full anesthesia, 4 blood transfusions, and a stay in the ICU. I didn’t meet my son until he was almost 24 hours old and for other various reasons I was never able to produce enough breastmilk to feed him.

But this is how God tells stories. This is how He provides.

Travis and I withdrew as much cash as we could from the bank and prayed we would have enough to leave the hospital. Our final bill was $3,200 US dollars (a miracle in and of itself, really!) and we had a stack of traditional red envelopes from friends with money to congratulate us on the birth of our son. As we tallied up all of our money on my hospital bed, we were $300 short. We’d reached our maximum withdrawal from our account for the day, so we would have to wait until the next day to leave. We were discouraged and exhausted.

I had a card in my pocket from our Taiwanese friend who had given birth the same day, she had given it to me in the nursery but I never thought to open it. They were poor missionaries like us who had a newborn baby! But something told me to open it, and there was exactly $300 inside. We paid our bill and had roughly $5 leftover, enough for the cab fare to get Ben and I home.

God provided every last cent that we needed.

In the next few weeks a friend reached out and said they would send us $100 a month for whatever we needed, and it was exactly what we needed to pay for Ben’s formula.

I’ve prayed a lot of crazy prayers in my life – some specific, some vague. And I’ve seen some awesome miracles, sometimes quickly – others took years. I’ve also had lots of prayers that haven’t been answered yet, or at least not in the way I’m hoping.

But what I’ve learned is I need to allow GOD to be the focus of my prayers. I’ve prayed for job promotions or success in my business or money for this or that – but the problem with doing that is it trains my eyes to look at things on Earth. But when I pray for PROVISION, it draws my eyes to the only one who can ever really provide for me – and the only one who ever has.

When we first moved back to the U.S., I made a big dream list of attributes I wanted our first home to have. 5 years later, I’m a homeowner and the house we bought checks about half of those. But this house also comes with a lot of beautiful things I would’ve never thought to pray for – the extra grandma at the end of the block who loves my kids like her own. A yard full of neighborhood kids every summer night and a park just outside our back fence. We live in walking distance of our church and the grocery store.

I’m so struck by how many times God says He will do this for us in the Bible, specifically in the Sermon on the Mount. He doesn’t promise us big houses, comfortable salaries, or perfect health. He makes an explicit promise to those who seek Him and His Kingdom to PROVIDE their every need.

²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Travis and I find ourselves in a season of questioning how God will provide for us this year – a promotion we were hoping for didn’t materialize and we need to replace a vehicle before the summer. I confess I’d been praying for that promotion specifically for awhile now. But I’m reminded now that what I really need is God’s provision, and He always seems to do it in a way that reminds me how deep His love is for me and that He knows my needs far better than I know them myself. A year from now I’m sure I’ll look back and be telling another story of God’s provision, and I hope my trust in Him and love for Him is even deeper because of it.

-RK